Not Despite . . . But Because
by Chana Klein
A Life Lessons Story
How
many of us have disability either in mind, in body or even in spirit?
What
do we do with that? Does it stop us?
Or,
is it the stuff that creates our success?
Do
we achieve success despite our disability . . . or because of it?
I
have run a half-mile in 3 ½ minutes on my crutches. When I did not need
crutches to walk, I was never able to travel that fast. It is not despite my
crutches that I could fly down the street . . . but because of them.
In
studying the lives of leaders like Moses, Jacob, Lincoln, JFK, FDR and other
historical giants, it glares out at me that each of these greats suffered some
form of disability that interfered with his life.
Moses
had a speech problem, a great challenge for a national speaker. But that speech
difficulty was part of the reason that people believed in Moses as God’s
prophet. The speech problem disappeared when he spoke for God. At those times,
God would speak through Moses and so Moses’ speech was clear. Not despite . . .
but because of Moses’ speech difficulty were people more aware of Moses as
God’s prophet.
Jacob
suffered sciatic nerve pain from a battle with the angel of his brother, Eisav.
Jacob was victorious. (Genesis 32:25) I imagine that pain created great
challenges in all of the traveling he had to do, even in getting on and off of
the wagons in which he rode. Jacob traveled all the way down to Egypt with that
pain.
After
the victory over the angel, Jacob is told, “No longer is your name Jacob, but
Israel, for you fought with God and with men and overcame. (Genesis 32:28)
That
pain and victory was what led to the name change. A name change is an
indication that a person is accessing another part of his soul. Because of the
pain that Jacob acquired in the battle, he got to know, from that time onward,
the part of himself that can fight with man, and even with God, and can
overcome. Not despite . . . but because of the pain Jacob endured, he became
victorious and a Light unto Nations for his children and for those after him.
Lincoln
suffered from severe depression. Yet, those feelings made him more
compassionate to people, as he always had an office open to listening to
individuals who requested his help. FDR had polio since the age of 39. His
wife, Eleanor, said that it shaped his character as president, and made his
presidency possible.
I
personally found JFK’s story inspiring and revealing, but not for the usual
reasons. The part that inspired me most is what he did with his illness. 50% of
his lifetime had been spent in bed, unable to function because of various
diagnoses ranging from Addison’s disease to leukemia. Ever since JFK was a
newborn, he was ill. He was given his last rights at least five times, the
first being just after he was born. When JFK’s older brother, Joe, was born,
their father started calling him President, as that was his father’s wish for
him. When Jack (JFK, as we know him) was born, he was already deathly ill. So
his father’s wish for him was simply that he “live.”
When
JFK attended Choate Preparatory School in Connecticut, he was often sick and
confined to Choate’s infirmary. There, it is said, he developed other skills.
He had to develop a talent for keeping people interested in conversing with
him, so that he would have people to talk to while confined to bed.
While
confined to bed, he brought his reading speed up to 1200 words per minute,
reading 10 books each week. He particularly studied “leadership” and had an
almost obsessive fascination with politics. He even met his lifelong friend,
Lemoyne Billings who was also confined to the infirmary. Their friendship
lasted for life.
JFK
was not an honor student or even a good student. He graduated below the middle
of his class from Choate. The headmaster even tried to have JFK expelled the
night before graduation. JFK was a known troublemaker and leader of a group of
rabble-rousers that called themselves “The Muckers Club.”
Clearly,
it was not his great academic abilities that got JFK the epitome of worldly success
– becoming the 35th President of the United States. Rather, it was his
disabilities, the disabilities that forced him to stay in bed, during which he
created and accessed his own inner gifts.
It
was not despite his disabilities . . . but because of them that JFK became so
successful?
A
lot of my work is with people on the Autism Spectrum. My experience with these
beautiful souls leads me to believe that many of them have achieved greatness,
or can achieve that greatness not despite . . . but because of their Autism
Spectrum Disorder.
There
are those in history who are believed to have had Aspergers Syndrome, which is
on the Autism Spectrum. Each had many of the characteristics of that syndrome,
like a lack of the ability to read social cues, the avoidance of eye contact,
the tendency to rock back and forth, coupled with an obsession with, and
intense focus on certain subject matter. Historical giants such as Marie Curie,
Albert Einstein, Mozart, Jefferson, and recently added to that list, Bill Gates
are thought to have Aspergers. Is it despite their Asperger traits . . . or
because of those traits that they have became so successful?
Did
Einstein do brilliant work despite his Aspergers trait of focusing on small
details for hours and coming to creative conclusions . . . or was it because of
it? Did Van Gogh add beautiful color and abstract edges to his paintings
despite the seizures he developed while in the hospital… or because of those
seizures?
How
many of our disabilities are the material out of which our success is created?
Do
we do great things despite disability . . . or because of it?
My
own story:
“You
have Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD) and you are not returning to work,” the
orthopedic surgeon announced to me.
I
did not plan on ever ending my teaching career. I had believed that retirement
would happen for me after my soul leaves this world, and even then, I used to
tell people, that Heaven, for me, will be a classroom filled with kids.
The
pain of the disease with which I was diagnosed is described as that of having
one’s veins filled with lighter fluid and then lighting a match. That is what
it was like for me, as well.
I,
eventually, traveled hundreds of miles to be treated by the RSD MD who was
considered to be the world guru of the disease. He diagnosed me with full body
RSD and predicted, with certainty, that within a year, I would be confined to a
wheelchair.
I
was not able to dress myself without assistance, and had already lost my
ability to walk. As I lay on my back with two pillows under my knees, I asked
myself:
“What
CAN I do?”
“I
can learn!” was the answer that quickly came to me.
Whereas
I had been learning Torah intensively for more than 21 years, I, now, had to
take some of that time and learn to heal myself. I enrolled in alternative
medicine courses and trainings, which eventually led to many certifications.
Eventually, I completed more than 21 different healing modalities of training.
I found out about coaching as a profession from one of the alternative medicine
students and signed up for the first of many of those trainings the next day.
Within a few years, I was certified in many schools of coaching. Using what I
was learning, my physical condition got better and better. The pain dissipated
and my ability to function increased and continues to do that each day.
I
know that I never would have gotten the endless trainings and certifications,
nor would I have been able to help the people who became my clients, had I not
been so disabled, that I was forced to leave what I was doing, really, to leave
what, at the time, I loved doing. How could I have known that I would be able
to grow my brain and my body in such different, expansive ways, to be who I am
today, to do what I do, not despite . . . but because of my disability?
Does
God give us these disabilities to shape our souls? Are these the things that
force us to reach above, and then reach deep inside, to pull out our inner
greatness?
I
look at my disabilities, of which I have many, both in mind and body. I see
them as the source of my very meaningful life. I see them as the root of my
being able to be there in just the right way for another person. I see them as
giving me additional insight into understanding a drop of how the world works,
and of understanding what inspires another to go on, and to experience victory
over himself, and over others.
Not
despite the challenges brought before us . . . but because of those challenges,
do we find the inner greatness within ourselves, and the ability to express
that greatness.
Not
despite . . . but because of our disability, are we able to achieve what we do.
Download free story-ebook:
“My Child is Not Like the
Child Next Door – Coaching Parents on the Spectrum”
by Chana Klein
www.academyofspectrumcoaching.com)
Chana@TheSpectrumCoach.com
Copyright © 2010 COPYRIGHT CHANA
KLEIN. All rights reserved.
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